How to be Isaac Loker: “A Beginners Guide To Living The Best Life”

Isaac Loker, Farmer

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For a person to be and live like the one and only Isaac Loker, one must dive deep into the everyday life and mind of the man.  To start the day, you must rise early (About 6:30), get dressed in the proper attire (From top to bottom: A hat, plaid button up shirt, blue jeans, and boots), and meet the day with a happiness that only could come from being Isaac Loker.

 The next step is to go to the Citgo gas station where the elder gentlemen of the community go and loaf. Pull up a chair, and sit with the old men, become an old man, and loaf for an hour or so. After an hour or so worth of loafing, it comes time to go to work.  The days work includes all the duties of the farm, whatever the boss asks, as well as aggravating people for no apparent reason other than to tease people. If there’s school, you must go to school, get out of assignments if possible, and procrastinate to the last minute to do the assignments that you can’t avoid.

In the mid-afternoon, you must head back to Citgo and loaf for another hour or so. Then, you should spend the rest of the evening either going to eat, or sitting at home watching Fox News or John Wayne movies until it’s time for bed. If you practice this lifestyle long enough, you will become like Isaac Loker. However, you will never become him, because it is impossible to be exactly like the One and Only Isaac Loker.

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